The Pulpmovies Trailer Park

In Black Metal: The Norwegian Legacy? Bill Zebub explores some of the subjects much deeper than usual.

The reason why the title includes the questionThe Norwegian Legacy? is that many Swedes have criticized Norwegian black metal for being inspired by Bathory, which was a Swedish band.

Expect to see plenty of amazing footage. But don’t expect to see a regurgitation of the same story repeated endlessly in false documentaries and by the charletans of the media.

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The Worst Horror Movie Ever Made is a horror/comedy is about a romantic couple on the run from the law. In their perilous flight they meet almost every kind of monster possible: giant bats, fecal demons, inbred rednecks, mummies, zombies, lesbian vampires, spooks, and Jesus.

This is like Dante’s Inferno for the modern day, well sort of.

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Metalheads: The Good, the Bad and the Evil is a tragi-comedy is rife with pathos, “metal” style. Well, one man’s misfortune is another man’s comedy. Low-brow viewers will marvel at the abundant hilarity, while the more learned among us will savor the hidden metaphysics, or should we say, metalphysics? If you are a metalhead, see your lifestyle glorified. If you hate metalheads, then see the lifestyle vilified. You will see exactly what you want to see, for Bill Zebub is a wizard

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Self-control, courtesy, perseverance, integrity and an indomitable spirit - those are the basic tenets preached by the proud but stern Master instructor Simmons at the Concord Tae Kwon Do Studio. There “the way of the foot and the fist,” a.k.a. the definition of the featured Korean martial art, turns boys into black belts and suburbanites into great warriors. That is, until Simmons’ seemingly perfect life starts collapsing when he discovers his wife having an affair on him. Twice.

A chance to resurrect his life by battling his hero - the 8-time undefeated champ and star of the “Seven Rings of Pain” trilogy, Chuck “The Truck” Wallace - gives Simmons’ life purpose as he winds up on a wild, comic journey that will take him from egomaniacal bluster all the way to becoming the stand-up man of his delusional dreams.

The Foot Fist Way finally reached UK cinemas on Friday.

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When Marie, an ambitious and introverted young athlete collapses during training, she is forced by her doctor to rest. Frustrated at missing the chance to compete in a major race, she sinks into a depression — until she meets Bobby.

Instantly and irresistibly attracted to this enigmatic young man, Marie almost immediately moves in with him, living in a worn-out, high-rise apartment block in the Left Bank district of the city. At first relieved to get away from her interfering mother at home and excited by her new life, everything seems to be looking up… until she discovers that the previous tenant mysteriously disappeared.

With plenty of time on her hands, Marie gradually becomes obsessed with uncovering the truth behind the vanishing and, in so doing, begins to doubt whether she can trust her new boyfriend at all. Not only this, but with unexplained black hairs growing out of her injured knee, suspicious neighbors and what seems to be a strange black hole appearing in the basement floor, Marie starts to realise not all is well in Left Bank (Linkeroever).

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Something is roaming the Welsh countryside hunting and killing animals and now it is turning on humans! Our group of intrepid teenage friends led by Sophie, a troubled teen with a taste for the unknown and macabre; place themselves at the mercy of the beast as they enter its domain in the wilds. After tempers fray and Sophie storms off; one of the party is horrifically attacked. Sophie is then incarcerated in a locked room within an old abandoned building and at this point we start to realise all is not what it first appeared with Splintered!

Splintered becomes a psychological challenge. Sophie will only escape if she can discover the truth about her captor and the beast that not only hunts by the full moon but desires Sophie as a mate! She will literally fight for her own life and that of her friends as her antagonist will dispose of anyone who stands in his way.

Nothing will prevent him from having his way with her and Sophie will find herself locked in a primitive battle for survival, resorting to basic animal instincts, in order to survive intact!

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Faintheart is romantic comedy set in the world of battle re-enactments, about an irresponsible guy who has to shape up in order to win back his wife.

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Whilst making a documentary, filmmaker Holly meets the highly enigmatic and beautiful Vicki who claims she is a real-life vampire. By turns fascinated by and attracted to her, Holly thinks that Vicki could be her soul mate and soon the two embark on a passionate affair. However Vicki’s lust for blood is growing and when Holly discovers that Vicki is pregnant with a ‘vampire’ baby, she is drawn into a spiral of death, deceit and betrayal from which she will never emerge.

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Cheeky comedy The Adventures of a Plumber in Outer Space is an homage to the Confessions/Adventures films of the saucy seventies.

Robin Evans, a plumber, is happily filling a hole with his tool in frustrated housewife Mrs Zucker’s bathroom when he, Mrs Zucker and her husband Police Sgt Zucker are beamed to the Planet Pron. All men are impotent on Pron and Queen Azizzaz needs to mate and Robin has been picked as a prime Earth specimin. Cue scantily clad girls, Robin losing his trousers, chases and sex mad, saucy fun!

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Filmed over three years, We Are Together tells the remarkable and moving story of a group of children who use music to overcome hardship and loss. It is the story of an orphanage, unlike one you’ve ever seen before, and of the drive of these remarkable young singers and their teachers to make it to London for a series of concerts.

Life has not been easy for 12-year-old Slindile, her siblings and her friends at the Agape Orphanage in South Africa, where most of the children have lost their parents to AIDS. But they are still kids and teenagers, bashful around boys, squabbling with each other. And when they lift their voices in song, something extraordinary happens.

As the kids at Agape orphanage continue to train for what they hope will be their big break, Slindile and her siblings are hit with more hard news - their oldest brother Sifiso, who has been sick for months, has AIDS.

With unforgettable kids, soaring music and a plot full of surprises, We Are Together arrives as a stirring and uplifting theatrical documentary.

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