Biker Zombies From Detroit

1/5

Evil Never Looked So Bad

What a pointless film that was.

Some voiceover demon floats around Detroit turning violent criminals into zombies for some unexplained reason. A whiney teenager (he does have a name, but I was too disinterested to make a note of it) with a dirt bike and his mother move into a suburb - Ill assume its a Detroit suburb. He immediately doesn’t get on with the local biker jocks – and then offends them by starting to date the local girl.

The zombies kill several people. No one notices. They kill the whiney teenager as well – the jocks see this but are too stupid to call the police.

The whiney teenagers mother and girlfriend are worried when he goes missing. The mother does what any parent would do in this situation… nothing. I imagine there was supposed to be some tension at this point - will the jocks be linked to the missing teenager; who is the myserious badly made up biker that the jocks keep glimpsing (I say keep glimpsing which implies that there might be an extended build up of tension - there isnt).

Fortunately the whiney teenager’s girlfriend works in a coffee shop, so she is friendly with the local police. She happens to mention that he’s gone missing and the local police go along - in one of the worst displays of police procedure Ive seen in a long time, if not ever - to ask a few questions. They learn nothing and, ignoring the suspicious behaviour of the jock next door, go home.

On a side note – if your budget doesn’t stretch to making a car look even vaguely like a police car, don’t show the car.

Eventually, the media notices that there are zombies in Detroit.

The end.

Biker Zombies From Detroit is dull from start to finish. There is no humour, no tension, and no characters that are worth caring about. It doesn’t have a resolution – in fact it doesn’t have much of a plot, either. We simply meander from scene to scene, alternating between huge dollops of expository dialogue, the dull life of whiney teenagers and some unpleasant but tame gore.

The acting was awful - although given some of the dialogue that the actors had to chew through, Im not convinced it would be possible for anyone to do a decent job.

The only thing I can say in its favour is that it is a thankfully short film.

One Response to Biker Zombies From Detroit

  1. on 28 Aug 2004 at 11:29 am Pulpmovies Reviews » Killers

    [...] This is true in the same way that Night of the Living Dead is in the same tradition of Biker Zombies from Detroit. Both films have zombies in them. And… that’s it. K [...]


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