Savage Popcorn

IO9 thinks so. Rodriguez’ remake of Barbarella has been on and off again but, back in April, Rose McGowan – who was slated to star (or not) – was saying that the film was on and in pre-production.

Now, however, we have the news that Robert Rodriguez is to direct Rose McGowan in a remake of Red Sonja, expected to be released in 2010. According to a USA Today article, McGowan came to Rodriguez with a script about the scrappy warrior who vows never to sleep with a man until he’s bested her in combat. He became excited by the script, but she was surprised to be offered the role.

“When they first came to me with it, I thought it was funny,” says the actress, 34. “I do have a body made for sitting on a veranda with mint juleps and a parasol. I don’t know why I always have to save the planet.”

Rodriguez considers her a perfect fit as the mighty, and mighty voluptuous, avenger. “Rose is a pistol. She’s whip-smart, has attitude to burn, is sexy, extremely strong, yet has a vulnerable side that would surprise her closest friends. That description also fits Red Sonja.”

So where does that leave the Barbarella remake? Filming on Red Sonja is due to start in October and – according to IO9 – it turns out that McGowan and Rodriguez were already pitching another script for her to star in as of last month — a women in prison TV drama called Women in Chains. On top of this, Rodriguez is also directing Shorts, a family comedy.

So it sounds very much like they have already given up on Barbarella, even if they haven’t admitted it yet. I can’t say I’m too unhappy.

Twitch has been following the career of Spanish director Nacho Vigalondo for… well, for a very long time. Most recently they have been getting excited about the prospect of an English-language remake if Vigalondo’s 2007 SF film, Timecrimes (Los Cronocrímenes).

A man accidentally gets into a time machine and travels back in time nearly an hour. Finding himself will be the first of a series of disasters of unforeseeable consequences

Suddenly things have become very interesting indeed with the news that David Cronenberg is in the running to direct the remake. Nothing is anywhere near being signed yet, but a Cronenbergian take of time travel disasters would be spectacular.

In the meantime, check out Vigalondo’s Oscar nominated short 7:35 In The Morning.

Back in May of last year, Robert Rodriguez became the latest director to be attached to the much discussed remake of Barbarella. In August news emerged that he had shot some test footage with Rose McGowan and much discussion ensued across the interrumournet about how well McGowan would fill the fur bikini.

Two months later it was all off. Rodriguez, it appeared, wanted to make a Rose McGowan blockbuster and Universal refused.

Now, apparently, not only is the film back on, but it was never off in the first place. Rose McGowan has told MTV (via) that the rumours of the death of the film were greatly exaggerated and she has the contracts to prove it. Not just the contracts, though, but sets and costumes, and a whole “lot of pre-production work,” as well.

There’s no word from Universal as yet and nothing in McGowan’s comments to suggest that the film is anywhere near going into production, so I remain a tad sceptical as to whether this film actually will go into production.

“The original doesn’t have a lot to go on plot-wise. It’s one thing to do a remake of something that could have been much better storywise even if it was fantastic visually. It’s another thing to remake something flawless,” McGowan said. “That way if yours isn’t that good at least yours is better than that one.”

In fact, I would be far from unhappy if this version of the film doesn’t go into production.

There are a quite a few rumours flying around at the moment over who will be directing the adaptation plus sequel of The Hobbit. Back in December, the man of the moment was Sam Raimi. Now, according to The Guardian, Guillermo del Toro is in talks to direct the films.

Since this is all grist to the rumour mill, it’s probably wise to not believe anything until a contract is signed. But it does sound like the film’s producers are looking in all the right places.

After spending the last few days talking about films that I am looking forward to seeing, I finally find myself posting about a film that I actively do not want to see. In fact, a film that I would prefer wasn’t made - at least, not by the people who are currently behind it. The film is question is Neuromancer, which I mentioned back in May of last year.

On the plus side, the people behind the film are talking about it being an “indie with a big budget” and producer, Peter Hoffman did make some reasonably positive noises about the film when he got behind it. On the minus side, the film is to be directed by Joseph Kahn, whose previous directorial highlights include Torque and Toxic.

On the double-minus side comes the (unconfirmed) news (via) that the role of Case - the hacker at the centre of the story - has been cast. Hayden Christensen. Thrilled, I am not.

Back in 2002, when promoting the - frankly dire - House of 1000 Corpses, Rob Zombie was asked how he felt about budget remakes of films like Dawn of the Dead and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. He famously replied with: “I feel it’s the worst thing any filmmaker can do. I actually got a call from my agent and they asked me if I wanted to be involved with the remake of Chain Saw. I said no f-ing way! Those movies are perfect- you’re only going to make yourself look like an a–hole by remaking them.”

Since then, of course, he has been responsible for the remake of John Carpenter’s genre defining Halloween. And now he has confirmed (via CHUD, appropriately enough) that he is to direct a remake of C.H.U.D.

You have to ask why. C.H.U.D isn’t the greatest film ever made, by any stretch of the imagination, and I’m not convinced that it has the sort of name recognition that has made other remakes so popular with the major studios. Zombie isn’t driving this project - he’s just the director for hire - so there’s no suggestion that he has some unique vision he wants to being to the story of grotesquely deformed vagrants living in the sewers.

Most remakes are bad enough, but this one just seems pointless.

Update

A remake of C.H.U.D is in the works, but Rob Zombie is not involved.

Nothing is confirmed as yet, but Twitch are reporting that Xavier Gens has been sacked from the upcoming video game adaptation, Hitman.

After being hired to shoot an adaptation of the ultra-violent video game Gens took Asian action films such as The Killer and A Bittersweet Life as his starting point and turned in an explicitly violent, very bloody cut of the film that apparently included a number of head shots and extreme gore moments that would have guaranteed the film a hard R rating. Which really shouldn’t have been any sort of surprise if the studio execs had been paying any attention at all - it’s not like they wouldn’t have seen the dailies or effects work ahead of time - but apparently after seeing Gens’ cut of the film the studio removed him from the project and placed Nicolas De Toth in control of a new edit of the film. Who’s De Toth? He’s the man behind the edit of Live Free Or Die Hard, a job he was hired for specifically to turn in an entirely bloodless version of the film and word is that this is his task with Hit Man as well. So what are we going to get? A bloodless version of the film assembled with no input whatsoever from Gens.

If this is true, it will be disappointing - especially considering that this is one game adaptation that had looked rather promising up to now - but not overly surprising. The major studios - and Fox is one of the worst for this - do seem to approach genre films with a strange mixture of inattentiveness, incomprehension and blind panic. The result is a constant stream of bland action flicks in which nothing happens that hasn’t happened in every film that has gone before.

In short, if Gens’ name isn’t on the poster, Hitman isn’t going to be a film worth seeing.

It’s been a while since anyone talked about the on-again, off-again remake of Barbarella. Back in May, Robert Rodriguez became the latest director to be attached to the film and there was the inevitable speculation as to who would fill the lead role.

Now an anonymous source has told JoBlo (via) that Rodriguez and his Troublemaker Studios are gearing up for production, and have already shot some test footage with Rose McGowan.

Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean McGowan is locked for the part — she could have just been conveniently available for Rodriguez to use as his “model”. Or perhaps he’ll use the footage as a convincer for Universal and producer Dino De Laurentiis to cast someone of McGowan’s relatively low star wattage in such a major film role.

Either way, the movie will likely start shooting before the end of the year, so we’ll soon find out who will replace Jane Fonda as the frisky deep space agent.

So, could Rose McGowan fill the fur bikini? You know, I think she could.

I liked Casino Royale. The film successfully returned to Bond’s roots and came back with a 21st century secret agent - darker, grittier and a lot less pleasant than his previous incarnations. It was an undeniably good film and one that proved that Daniel Craig’s much less polished take on the character could appeal widely.

So, it would be reasonable to assume that series producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael Wilson will be looking to provide more of the same in the upcoming sequel. Not a hope.

According to Daniel Craig:

They [the producers] just want more gags. The next one’s going to be a lot funnier. Octopussy and Pussy Galore style gags. They’re all great names – but that’s the thing, the Bond jokes will be flipped on their heads.

Because a run-of-the-mill stab at ironic self-parody is just what the franchise needs at this point. It all sounds like the sequels are going to be going downhill very fast indeed.

Film Ick (via) are reporting that Neil Gaiman is to direct his first feature film - an adaptation of his Death: The High Cost of Living graphic novel.

Death… is a spin-off from the hugely successful Sandman series and tells of how once every 100 years, Death - the anthropomorphic personification of the end of life - takes human form and lives among us, to understand what it is that we’re losing when she dies. In the story she meets, and befriends, Sexton Furnival a suicidal teenager and finds herself being hunted by evil forces which prey on her new vulnerability now that she is human. Meanwhile, Mad Hettie threatens to kill Death’s suicidal friend if Death won’t help her find her heart.

The story has it that the role of Death has caught the interest of one famous young actress in particular, although there is no indication of who. So I shall cross my fingers and hope that the film does get made and that Natalie Portman gets the title role.